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The Rise Of The Machines 5: Printhead Rampage

Me: 50€ for a new pack of four cartridges. You'll better be pleased, Scumbag Printer.

Printer: I was built with an insatiable thirst of human suffering so I can never be pleased

Me: I'll insert them right now because I need to print ASAP, let's hope they don't get dry too soon.

Printer: This ink is made with the vaginal discharge of Faerie Queens, that's why it's so expensive and volatile

Me: What a bunch of scammers. Magenta isn't even a real color.

Computer: There is a new version of Scumbag Printer's printing drivers. Download and install now [Y/N]?

Printer: If you don't update my printer driver, I may never print again. If you update my printer driver, I may never print again. Decisions, decisions. Sucks to be you

Me: I hate you, Printer.

Printer: Ha ha ha don't forget to recalibrate after cartridge replacement you sack of meat