Un naufragio personal

angel at

On these days of sorrow I'm writing short fiction here:


He escrito este email a un amigo sobre cómo configurar Tor para el servicio SSH en clientes y servidores Linux:


Respecto al cliente (azazel, portátil con Ubuntu): instalar tor y ya está. Desde ese momento corre como un proceso que monta un túnel SOCKS5 en el puerto 9050. Nada más montarlo yo ya puedo hacer:

ssh -o ProxyCommand="nc -X 5 -x localhost:9050 %h %p"

Esto lo que hace es abrir una conexión normal ssh pero a través de las múltiples capas de cebolla del Tor, haciéndolo súper-seguro, intrazable y bla bla bla. Es interesante esto:

Last login: Fri Mar 13 08:52:21 2020 from

Esa IP no es la mía, sino la de uno de los nodos de salida del Tor. Todo esto ya funciona sin haber instalado aún Tor en

Para un servidor (lucifer, servidor casero con Debian sin puertos abiertos desde el router): instalar tor y abrir un «Tor Hidden Service» añadiendo lo siguiente a /etc/tor/torrc:

HiddenServiceDir /var/lib/tor/ssh/
HiddenServicePort 1234

Tras reiniciar tor (1234 es el puerto en el que corre mi SSH) te crea un servicio oculto, lo ha configurado y se lo ha notificado a la red Tor. El contenido de /var/lib/tor/ssh/hostname es:


Mola, ¿eh? (apunta, que te lo dicto). La magia es que eso ya es accesible desde el mundo exterior con algún cliente que tenga instalado Tor:

ssh tlnm26rl4fskwzzpxzvj25slznioajxv4afi2yb6a4fjkceraguvvaqo.onion -p 1234 -o ProxyCommand="nc -X 5 -x localhost:9050 %h %p"

Aunque mola escribir eso todo el tiempo lo propio es configurarlo (tanto el host como el ProxyCommand) en ~/.ssh/config.

El lastlog te mostrará que la conexión ha ocurrido desde (desde el punto de vista del servidor todo llega desde el túnel local).

Ojo a una cosa: la línea de comando del nc es para el de openbsd. Por alguna razón, en Ubuntu tengo el de openbsd pero en Debian el tradicional. He instalado netcat-openbsd en Debian para que todo sea consistente.

Tor proporciona un servicio para saber algo más sobre los «Exit Nodes» en el url

Espero que te sirva de ayuda.

Un abrazo,


HOWTO compact an Virtualbox disk

In this entry I explain how to compact the Virtualbox hard disk of a virtualized MS Windows 7 running inside a Linux host.


1. Run the MS Windows virtual machine and execute the Disk Defragmentation tool. Wait for it to finish.

2. Also from inside Windows, download a command-line program named sdelete from Microsoft (search for it). Run the following command from a console:

sdelete c: -z

This tool supposedly fills with zeroes the full filesystem. It takes a while. Once it finishes, close Windows and exit the Virtualbox GUI.

3. Open a Linux console and move to the directory where your virtual machine files are stored.

4a. If your virtual disk is already in vdi format, run the following command:

vboxmanage modifyhd windows_7-disk001.vdi --compact

4b. Instead, if you need to convert the virtual disk from vmdk to vdi, run the following command:

vboxmanage clonehd --format vdi windows_7-disk001.vmdk windows_7-disk001.vdi

Wait for it to finish, open the Virtualbox GUI, select the virtual machine, click on setup, go to storage, select the current vmdk file, click on a little icon resembling a hard disk to the right of the file, click on the virtual hard disk change option and select the new vdi file.

Adventures in Unicode's math plane

The Unicode charset has a complete plane (a subset of codepoints) dedicated to the humungous plethora of symbols used in math formula and definitions. For some reason, the creators felt that re-defining the usual latin characters in varios stylings was a necessity. I won't argue on that.

We can benefit from this odd inclusion to use special text effects in places where it's not possible, e.g. social networks. So, given that we have this text snippet:

From George Orwell's 1984:

He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn
what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless
misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two
gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all
right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the
victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.

We can play with several styles. For example, using bold serif symbols:

𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐎𝐫𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥'𝐬 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟒:

𝐇𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞. 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞. 𝐎 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥, 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐎 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧, 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭! 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐧-𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐞. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝. 𝐇𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐇𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐢𝐠 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

Or serif italic:

𝐹𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝐺𝑒𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒 𝑂𝑟𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙'𝑠 1984:

𝐻𝑒 𝑔𝑎𝑧𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝 𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑕𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒. 𝐹𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑦 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑕𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑕𝑖𝑚 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑤𝑕𝑎𝑡 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑕𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑕 𝑡𝑕𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑕𝑒. 𝑂 𝑐𝑟𝑢𝑒𝑙, 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔! 𝑂 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑏𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛, 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓-𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑒𝑥𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡𝑕𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑡! 𝑇𝑤𝑜 𝑔𝑖𝑛-𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡𝑕𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑕𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑠𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑕𝑡, 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡𝑕𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑕𝑡, 𝑡𝑕𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑕𝑒𝑑. 𝐻𝑒 𝑕𝑎𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑕𝑒 𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑕𝑖𝑚𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓. 𝐻𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝐵𝑖𝑔 𝐵𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑕𝑒𝑟.

Please take note that what you see is completely dependent on the fonts you have installed in your system. For example, on my Ubuntu 19.10 I don't see the h letter. I have no clue on why (I also don't give a damn).

There is even a bold+italic set of serif characters:

𝑭𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑮𝒆𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆 𝑶𝒓𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍'𝒔 1984:

𝑯𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒛𝒆𝒅 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆. 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆. 𝑶 𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒆𝒍, 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈! 𝑶 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒃𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏, 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇-𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕! 𝑻𝒘𝒐 𝒈𝒊𝒏-𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒆. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅. 𝑯𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇. 𝑯𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝑩𝒊𝒈 𝑩𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓.

Isn't it ugly? Some styles have numerals and other don't. Watch out for "double-struck" characters:

𝔽𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝔾𝕖𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕖 𝕆𝕣𝕨𝕖𝕝𝕝'𝕤 𝟙𝟡𝟠𝟜:

𝔿𝕖 𝕘𝕒𝕫𝕖𝕕 𝕦𝕡 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕠𝕣𝕞𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕗𝕒𝕔𝕖. 𝔽𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕪 𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕚𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕟 𝕙𝕚𝕞 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕟 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕤𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕙𝕚𝕕𝕕𝕖𝕟 𝕓𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕜 𝕞𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖. 𝕆 𝕔𝕣𝕦𝕖𝕝, 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘! 𝕆 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕓𝕓𝕠𝕣𝕟, 𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗-𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕖𝕩𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕥! 𝕋𝕨𝕠 𝕘𝕚𝕟-𝕤𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕤𝕖. 𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝕚𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥, 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥, 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕖𝕕. 𝔿𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕨𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕧𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪 𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗. 𝔿𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕕 𝔹𝕚𝕘 𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣.


𝔉𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔊𝔢𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔢 𝔒𝔯𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩'𝔰 1984:

𝔋𝔢 𝔤𝔞𝔷𝔢𝔡 𝔲𝔭 𝔞𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔯𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔣𝔞𝔠𝔢. 𝔉𝔬𝔯𝔱𝔶 𝔶𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔰 𝔦𝔱 𝔥𝔞𝔡 𝔱𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔫 𝔥𝔦𝔪 𝔱𝔬 𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔫 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔰𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔢 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔥𝔦𝔡𝔡𝔢𝔫 𝔟𝔢𝔫𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔨 𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔢. 𝔒 𝔠𝔯𝔲𝔢𝔩, 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤! 𝔒 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔫, 𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣-𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔢𝔵𝔦𝔩𝔢 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔱! 𝔗𝔴𝔬 𝔤𝔦𝔫-𝔰𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔰 𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔰𝔢. 𝔅𝔲𝔱 𝔦𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱, 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱, 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔤𝔤𝔩𝔢 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔡. 𝔋𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔡 𝔴𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔳𝔦𝔠𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔶 𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣. 𝔋𝔢 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔡 𝔅𝔦𝔤 𝔅𝔯𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯.

There is a consistent fail for the H in my system, but what the hell. Wait, Fraktur bold!:

𝕱𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝕲𝖊𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖊 𝕺𝖗𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖑'𝖘 1984:

𝕳𝖊 𝖌𝖆𝖟𝖊𝖉 𝖚𝖕 𝖆𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖔𝖚𝖘 𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖊. 𝕱𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝖞𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖎𝖙 𝖍𝖆𝖉 𝖙𝖆𝖐𝖊𝖓 𝖍𝖎𝖒 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖘𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖍𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖊𝖓 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝖒𝖔𝖚𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊. 𝕺 𝖈𝖗𝖚𝖊𝖑, 𝖓𝖊𝖊𝖉𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘 𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖓𝖌! 𝕺 𝖘𝖙𝖚𝖇𝖇𝖔𝖗𝖓, 𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖋-𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖊𝖝𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖇𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖙! 𝕿𝖜𝖔 𝖌𝖎𝖓-𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖉𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖘𝖊. 𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝖎𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙, 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙, 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖌𝖌𝖑𝖊 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖋𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖘𝖍𝖊𝖉. 𝕳𝖊 𝖍𝖆𝖉 𝖜𝖔𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖛𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞 𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖍𝖎𝖒𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖋. 𝕳𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 𝕭𝖎𝖌 𝕭𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗.

There are also combinations of sans-serif:

𝖥𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝖦𝖾𝗈𝗋𝗀𝖾 𝖮𝗋𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅'𝗌 𝟣𝟫𝟪𝟦:

𝖧𝖾 𝗀𝖺𝗓𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗉 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾. 𝖥𝗈𝗋𝗍𝗒 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝗂𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗆𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝖽𝖽𝖾𝗇 𝖻𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝖺𝗋𝗄 𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗌𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗁𝖾. 𝖮 𝖼𝗋𝗎𝖾𝗅, 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽𝗅𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀! 𝖮 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝖻𝖻𝗈𝗋𝗇, 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿-𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖾𝗑𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗍! 𝖳𝗐𝗈 𝗀𝗂𝗇-𝗌𝖼𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖼𝗄𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗌𝖾. 𝖡𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍, 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗀𝗀𝗅𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽. 𝖧𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗐𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗏𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝗂𝗆𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿. 𝖧𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝖽 𝖡𝗂𝗀 𝖡𝗋𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋.

What an eyesore! sans-serif-bold:

𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗚𝗲𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝗢𝗿𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹'𝘀 𝟭𝟵𝟴𝟰:

𝗛𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝘇𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲. 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲. 𝗢 𝗰𝗿𝘂𝗲𝗹, 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴! 𝗢 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗯𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗻, 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝘅𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁! 𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗴𝗶𝗻-𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘀𝗲. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗱. 𝗛𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. 𝗛𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗕𝗶𝗴 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.

Sans-serif italic:

𝘍𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘎𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦 𝘖𝘳𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭'𝘴 1984:

𝘏𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦. 𝘖 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘭, 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘖 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯, 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵! 𝘛𝘸𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘯-𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘦. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧. 𝘏𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.

And sans-serif bold+italic:

𝙁𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙂𝙚𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚 𝙊𝙧𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡'𝙨 1984:

𝙃𝙚 𝙜𝙖𝙯𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚. 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙝𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚. 𝙊 𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙚𝙡, 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜! 𝙊 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙗𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙣, 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙚𝙭𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙩! 𝙏𝙬𝙤 𝙜𝙞𝙣-𝙨𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙨𝙚. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙. 𝙃𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙬𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛. 𝙃𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝘽𝙞𝙜 𝘽𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧.

There is even a script styling, very ugly and incomplete:

𝒡𝓇𝓄𝓂 𝒢𝒺𝓄𝓇𝒼𝒺 𝒪𝓇𝓌𝒺𝓁𝓁'𝓈 1984:

𝒣𝒺 𝒼𝒶𝓏𝒺𝒹 𝓊𝓅 𝒶𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒺 𝒺𝓃𝓄𝓇𝓂𝓄𝓊𝓈 𝒻𝒶𝒸𝒺. 𝒡𝓄𝓇𝓉𝓎 𝓎𝒺𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝒾𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝒺𝓃 𝒽𝒾𝓂 𝓉𝓄 𝓁𝒺𝒶𝓇𝓃 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝓄𝒻 𝓈𝓂𝒾𝓁𝒺 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒽𝒾𝒹𝒹𝒺𝓃 𝒷𝒺𝓃𝒺𝒶𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝒺 𝒹𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝓂𝓄𝓊𝓈𝓉𝒶𝒸𝒽𝒺. 𝒪 𝒸𝓇𝓊𝒺𝓁, 𝓃𝒺𝒺𝒹𝓁𝒺𝓈𝓈 𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒺𝓇𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝒼! 𝒪 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒷𝒷𝓄𝓇𝓃, 𝓈𝒺𝓁𝒻-𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒺𝒹 𝒺𝓍𝒾𝓁𝒺 𝒻𝓇𝓄𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝒺 𝓁𝓄𝓋𝒾𝓃𝒼 𝒷𝓇𝒺𝒶𝓈𝓉! 𝒯𝓌𝓄 𝒼𝒾𝓃-𝓈𝒸𝒺𝓃𝓉𝒺𝒹 𝓉𝒺𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝓉𝓇𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓁𝒺𝒹 𝒹𝓄𝓌𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒺 𝓈𝒾𝒹𝒺𝓈 𝓄𝒻 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝓄𝓈𝒺. 𝒝𝓊𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓇𝒾𝒼𝒽𝓉, 𝒺𝓋𝒺𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝒼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓇𝒾𝒼𝒽𝓉, 𝓉𝒽𝒺 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝓊𝒼𝒼𝓁𝒺 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒺𝒹. 𝒣𝒺 𝒽𝒶𝒹 𝓌𝓄𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒺 𝓋𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓄𝓇𝓎 𝓄𝓋𝒺𝓇 𝒽𝒾𝓂𝓈𝒺𝓁𝒻. 𝒣𝒺 𝓁𝓄𝓋𝒺𝒹 𝒝𝒾𝒼 𝒝𝓇𝓄𝓉𝒽𝒺𝓇.

And the same set, but in bold (for some reason, on my computer it looks less bold than the non-bold version):

𝓕𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓖𝓮𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓮 𝓞𝓻𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓵'𝓼 1984:

𝓗𝓮 𝓰𝓪𝔃𝓮𝓭 𝓾𝓹 𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓷𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓯𝓪𝓬𝓮. 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓽𝔂 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓲𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓷 𝓱𝓲𝓶 𝓽𝓸 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓷 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓶𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓱𝓲𝓭𝓭𝓮𝓷 𝓫𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓶𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮. 𝓞 𝓬𝓻𝓾𝓮𝓵, 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰! 𝓞 𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓫𝓫𝓸𝓻𝓷, 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯-𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓽! 𝓣𝔀𝓸 𝓰𝓲𝓷-𝓼𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓴𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝓭𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓼𝓮. 𝓑𝓾𝓽 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽, 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽, 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓰𝓰𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓭. 𝓗𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝔀𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓲𝓶𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯. 𝓗𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓑𝓲𝓰 𝓑𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻.

Oh isn't it naïve and cute. And finally, you have monospace, ugly as fuck:

𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙶𝚎𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎 𝙾𝚛𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕'𝚜 𝟷𝟿𝟾𝟺:

𝙷𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎. 𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎. 𝙾 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚎𝚕, 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐! 𝙾 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚋𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚗, 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚡𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝! 𝚃𝚠𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚗-𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚜𝚎. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍. 𝙷𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚠𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏. 𝙷𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝙱𝚒𝚐 𝙱𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛.

I promise I'll use this on Tweeter.

Remember that all this is not "text": just symbols that happen to look like letters, so they won't appear when searching.

I need to finish this post with 𝖚𝖓𝖉 𝖉𝖆𝖘 𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖘.

Relevo generacional

Frente a mí hay un chico y una chica. Su conversación es enérgica y a veces bronca; puedo oírlos por encima de la banda sonora de ruido marrón que uso para leer en los bares. Él es hermoso, su torso está bien formado y dobla su brazo expuesto de forma estudiada, sus músculos y sus vasos sanguíneos se marcan como los de una estatua. Ella es vehemente en su discurso, de nariz grande, con una complexión también deslumbrante, el negro pelo recogido en una coleta de caballo como un torrente y unas pantorrillas poderosas que podrían reventar sus pantalones de deporte.

No usan giros idiomáticos ni sutilezas; son tan verdaderos que no las necesitan. Dominan la escena, demoledores y similares a un corrimiento de tierras; un tipo calvo y gordo sentado a mi lado, quizá algo más joven que yo, simula consultar su teléfono móvil mientras intenta no perderse ni un instante de esta demostración única.

Ellos no son conscientes de que han venido aquí a sustituirme. Son mi relevo, están aquí para reclamar los dominios que no he sabido defender. Yo, una vez más, me siento viejo, consumidor de unos recursos a los que apenas tengo derecho, listo para ser olvidado.

En la calle ladra un perro y zumban los coches.

Is anybody out there?

Today I realized that I haven't taken a look at this site's log for a very long time. I disappeared from Google's first page some years ago (and, consequently, from the Internet); suddenly I wondered if somebody ever vists this place. I don't run any log analyzer, so I located yesterday's nginx log and made a raw count:

angel@samael:~$ wc -l /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1
2863 /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1

So there were 2863 queries served by the httpd process on February 4th. But not so long I added ActivityPub support to the software that runs Triptico; I guessed that a non-small amount of these queries are probably Fediverse pings, spam tries and other useless crap, so I rewrote the line count to:

angel@samael:~$ grep -v mastopeek /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1 | \
grep -v fediverse | grep -v GabSocial | grep -v Mastodon | wc -l

Well, that was a trim. But what about the bots? I remember Bing behaving like an asshole some time ago by hammering my site (I even denied it access for a while). Let's ignore it and another fucker I knew by name:

angel@samael:~$ grep -v mastopeek /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1 | \
grep -v fediverse | grep -v GabSocial | grep -v Mastodon | \
grep -v bingbot | grep -v Googlebot | wc -l

Bang! How many other non-humans come here? I took a look at the file with dismay; what the fuck. There are a trillion bots lurking here! I started cropping:

angel@samael:~$ grep -v mastopeek /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1 | \
grep -v fediverse | grep -v GabSocial | grep -v Mastodon | \
grep -v bingbot | grep -v Googlebot | grep -v YandexBot | grep -v Sogou | \
grep -v magpie-crawler | wc -l

There are more!

angel@samael:~$ grep -v mastopeek /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1 | \
grep -v fediverse | grep -v GabSocial | grep -v Mastodon | \
grep -v bingbot | grep -v Googlebot | grep -v YandexBot | grep -v Sogou | \
grep -v magpie-crawler | grep -v Applebot | grep -v SemrushBot | \
grep -v Nimbostratus-Bot | grep -v RU_Bot | grep -v MojeekBot | \
grep -v 360Spider | wc -l

I learned that there are software with lame names like Applebot and Nimbostratus-Bot (it's some cloud-related crap, how original). Are there more? Sure. Though not self-identifying as a bot with a reasonable User-Agent, something asked for /robots.txt many times, and so that can be deleted as well:

angel@samael:~$ grep -v mastopeek /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1 | \
grep -v fediverse | grep -v GabSocial | grep -v Mastodon | \
grep -v bingbot | grep -v Googlebot | grep -v YandexBot | grep -v Sogou | \
grep -v magpie-crawler | grep -v Applebot | grep -v SemrushBot | \
grep -v Nimbostratus-Bot | grep -v RU_Bot | grep -v MojeekBot | \
grep -v 360Spider | grep -v '/robots.txt' | wc -l

Wait, more bots!

angel@samael:~$ grep -v mastopeek /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1 | \
grep -v fediverse | grep -v GabSocial | grep -v Mastodon | \
grep -v bingbot | grep -v Googlebot | grep -v YandexBot | grep -v Sogou | \
grep -v magpie-crawler | grep -v Applebot | grep -v SemrushBot | \
grep -v Nimbostratus-Bot | grep -v RU_Bot | grep -v MojeekBot | \
grep -v 360Spider | grep -v '/robots.txt' | grep -v ZoominfoBot | \
grep -v AhrefsBot | grep -v SeznamBot | grep -v DotBot | \
grep -v Barkrowler | grep -v MixnodeCache | grep -v repology-linkchecker | \
grep -v Linespider | grep -v VelenPublicWebCrawler | grep -v linkfluence | \
grep -v Twitterbot | wc -l

I know that I don't have dead links, so all 404 errors must come from non-humans (being righteous, some of them may be due to linkrot from old sites pointing here). Also I don't serve fucking PHP here (never did), so let's prune index.php queries that most probably come from script-kiddies trying to fuck with my system:

angel@samael:~$ grep -v mastopeek /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1 | \
grep -v fediverse | grep -v GabSocial | grep -v Mastodon | \
grep -v bingbot | grep -v Googlebot | grep -v YandexBot | grep -v Sogou | \
grep -v magpie-crawler | grep -v Applebot | grep -v SemrushBot | \
grep -v Nimbostratus-Bot | grep -v RU_Bot | grep -v MojeekBot | \
grep -v 360Spider | grep -v '/robots.txt' | grep -v ZoominfoBot | \
grep -v AhrefsBot | grep -v SeznamBot | grep -v DotBot | \
grep -v Barkrowler | grep -v MixnodeCache | grep -v repology-linkchecker | \
grep -v Linespider | grep -v VelenPublicWebCrawler | grep -v linkfluence | \
grep -v Twitterbot | grep -v ' 404 ' | grep -v 'index.php' | wc -l

Some crappy software from Apple keeps asking for /favicon.ico even though I announce this site's icon as something else. Morons.

Digging more into the log file: do queries from something that identifies as facebookexternalhit count as real people? I hope they do, but how many that day?

angel@samael:~$ grep facebookexternalhit /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1 | wc -l

Well, not many. And what about RSS/ATOM feed aggregators? Are there real human beings behind them?

angel@samael:~$ grep -E '/(atom|rss).xml' /var/log/nginx/triptico-access.log.1 | wc -l

Meh. Whatever. Regardless of this, I ended up with 886 queries (from the apparent 2863) that are not clearly discardable as garbage. How much can be inferred from looking at them? Well, some of them look like real human activity; for example, queries of the Minimum Profit page followed by the images of MP's screenshots seem legit (there are 14 queries for that page). On the other hand, there are bursts of activity asking for 50+ pages simulteously in the same fraction of a second from IPs in the 47.88.x.x and 47.254.x.x ranges and running some software that reports a User-Agent that mentions the Safari browser but it's obviously lying. There are at least 400 queries from this thing. I don't know what the fuck is it.

So there are a little more that 400 queries that are not easily identifyable as cruft. But what is known as a WWW visit is not the same; following the previous example, each visit to the Minimum Profit editor page results in 15 different file requests.

This is starting to get depressing so I'll end this post here.

1 de enero de 2020

Estoy sentado frente al mar. No hay nadie, todo está en calma salvo por el rumor del agua y algún graznido de gaviota. De pronto se ha formado una ola mucho más grande que el resto. No era un tsunami pero sí extrañamente alta y ruidosa, temblorosa, coronada de espuma. Al instante se ha desmoronado y todo ha seguido igual, como antes, como ahora. He mirado a mi alrededor y no ha habido ningún otro testigo de este hecho sorprendente y efímero. Eso ha tenido que significar algo. O quizá es cosa mía, quizá soy yo esperando algún tipo de señal.

Lanzamiento del satélite CHEOPS

Para aquellos a los que les gustan estas cosas: mañana día 17 de diciembre se lanza el CHEOPS, un satélite destinado a la búsqueda de exoplanetas fabricado en España por la gente increíblemente brillante de Airbus Defence & Space (de soltera, CASA Espacio) y en el que he tenido el honor de colaborar un poquito. El chisme incluye varios detalles cuquis: parece una cámara de fotos gigante con tapa de objetivo abatible y lleva clavada una chapa con 2748 dibujos de niños que fueron seleccionados en un concurso organizado por la ESA y la agencia espacial suiza.

El lanzamiento lo hará la compañía Ariane desde la Guayana Francesa y se retransmitirá en directo a las 09:30 hora española desde la web de vídeos de la ESA.

Esto es un orgullo nacional. Con suerte aparecerá en las noticias enterrado entre un montón de gilipolleces.

Podéis ver los dibujos de los chiquillos aquí: