Printer: Color calibration, print head aligning and other vague operations described by intentionally ridiculous terms finished.
Me: Great, it has taken you ten minutes so it must have been a really careful procedure, so let's...
Printer: Wait, I'm also a scanner, so you must put this page I just printed full of funny and mystical symbols into my feeder and scan it.
Me: What for
Printer: Who is in charge here do it right now or succumb to my wrath
Me: OK here it is, I've just pressed the scan button.
Printer: Crunkie-crunkie clickety-click la-la-la the song of my people
Me: You're just a glorified photocopier, get back to work.
Printer: Now I'll print a new page for you to admire how crombulately scrumified are my printer heads and you better re-scan it
Me: I hate you scumbag printer
Computer (to me): Why do you always swallow her baits