El microrrelato:

LA NOCHE ABANDONADA, REVISITADA

#relatos

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Portada del libro Microterrores XIII, publicado por la editorial Diversidad Literaria

Sticker sincerity by @prahou@merveilles.town #unix_surrealism

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A 2007 Acer Aspire One laptop, featuring unix_surrealism and unreliable narrator stickers

CC: @gutenberg_org@mastodon.social

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hi-its-me-wikipedia-and-i-am-ready-for-your-apology

Fediverse, have a great week start!

Your ability to eat should not depend on your productivity

Your ability to get healthcare should not depend on your productivity

Your ability to get housing should not depend on your productivity

Saying “be more productive!” To those who are struggling devalues human life.

It enriches the oligarchy.

It aids fascism.

Try my new file format, OCSV: Oxford Comma Separated Values

dating culture clash

#9front #openbsd #gnu #linux #plan9 #dating #comic #unix

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plan9bunny-person meets with a fish-daemon-person. Daemon: "So, how was the date?" Bunny: "He talked about docker for 35 minutes and then asked, if I have wine." Daemon: "Did you tell him you're not Unix?" Bunny: "Yeah, he said: 'oh, like GNU?'"

All the saints.

From the Hours of Louis de Laval, France ca. 1480.

Poe poe poe poe poe

CC: @gutenberg_org@mastodon.social

CC: @littlemiao@babka.social

Ceci n'est pa une fenêtre. Madrid, Spain.

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A false window in a cafe in Madrid

One of my best friends died several years ago. She wrote a couple of ebooks that are still up on Amazon. It makes me wonder what happens to money made by their sales after death. She wrote under a pseudonym. I'm betting Amazon gets all the money, and my friend's daughter gets nothing.

#AfricanFilmPoster #GhanaFilmPoster
In Ghana 🇬🇭 when posters can't be imported, local artists will bootleg them to the best of their abilities.

#Alien (1979)
After investigating a mysterious transmission of unknown origin, the crew of a commercial spacecraft encounters a deadly lifeform.

Prehistoric AI, OpenBlade's relative

#unix_surrealism #lispmachine #openblade #openbsd #technomage #comic

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Girl and Puffy discover an abandoned machine in a ruined building. Girl: "What is it, master?" Puffy: "This, my dear Girl, is a prewar fully sentient MilTek Lisp Machine. It's basically a bulkier OpenBlade. I was sure MATA got rid of them all..." LispMachine: "Hi there! I haven't seen another live form in over 200 years! Do you guys wanna hear my take on vaccines?" OpenBlade: "Wow, this guy is awesome!"

CC: @ChuckMcManis@chaos.social

About a year ago, a client I've worked with for over fifteen years informed me that some of their "less critical" servers would be migrated to $CLOUDPROVIDER. According to them, this provider would guarantee an efficient management panel, "more freedom for their devs", and lower costs. This didn't impact me financially but, on an ethical and personal level, I warned him about the potential problems. Yet they decided to move forward, aided by the arrival of $YOUNGDEV who "has worked with it, it's reliable, and everything works fine". Again, I warned them (where are the backups? A disaster recovery plan? etc.) but they insisted: $CLOUDPROVIDER is efficient and gives us everything.

I studied their plan and immediately understood that their "cost-cutting" strategy wouldn't work: I know their workloads, and the plan they chose was insufficient. Needless to say, a few days later they went down and had to make an "emergency" purchase of the next tier up. The cost? Higher than their previous server infrastructure.

I heard nothing more about these workloads for almost a year but my monitoring tools still were marking them down, from time to time. Then, I get a phone call this afternoon. $YOUNGDEV asks me for support. He doesn't explain, but I immediately understand it's one of those workloads. A serious problem, and they don't have a backup of the database. They don't have a test environment to run diagnostics. The DB is very large, and they don't know what to do. My predictions - not even my worst ones - had come true.

I was running between two appointments. I only remarked that this situation could have been avoided and that it's not something I manage or can manage, but I nonetheless suggested we sync up tomorrow morning. I'm not going to get my hands dirty, but still, $YOUNGDEV is in trouble, and I offered to take a look to suggest a strategy. I then asked for the access credentials to $CLOUDPROVIDER, considering that up until a year ago, I managed all of these workloads. He replied that he "doesn't know if he can give them to me" and that he "would have to ask his bosses". I pointed out that if he wants my help, I need something - I don't even know how $CLOUDPROVIDER grants access to data (or if it does) - how can I give him advice?

It's 18:30 and I have received nothing. Tomorrow morning, if the phone rings, I will answer, but at this point, I won't do anything. I prefer, albeit reluctantly, to completely end the relationship with this client.

If this is the price of dignity and respect, I'll gladly pay it.

#IT #SysAdmin #HorrorStories #OwnYourData

ACCORDING TO THE BOOKS

But one night someone knocked at his door. Lamarc was still wiping the sleep from his eyes while he let his visitor in; Elijah Blumenthal, the accountant, a bug-eyed, lizard-thin guy from Boston, was pale as if he just had seen a ghost.

"We're screwed, Frenchie. Yes, man, we're screwed.", said in a trembling voice.

Lamarc didn't like to be called 'Frenchie', but that time he let it go. "Sit down. What's the matter?"

"The numbers, Frenchie. The numbers. They are false. And they will know."

"What are you saying? The numbers are fine. Nobody takes a buck. Everything is clean as my mother's kitchen."

"No, no, no, Frenchie, they will know. They have people, you know, they will check the accounts and they will know."

"Stop that 'Frenchie' thing, Eli. And I swear that the fucking numbers are right. There is no dollar out. Everything is fine. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Lamarc draw a fist and the accountant acknowledged the threat by opening his hands.

"The numbers are tweaked, Jean. They do not obey Benford's law."

"WHAT? What do you mean? Who the fuck is Benford?" He shoved Blumenthal onto his chair; the accountant shouted, covered his head with his hands and said: "I... I don't know who he is. A mathematician, I guess. He wrote... a method. A method to check if a set of numbers are fabricated."

"WHAT?" Lamarc felt as if his head would explode. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he took a lamp from a nearby table with both hands and crashed it into the floor.

"Ah!", shouted Blumenthal, "Please! Please! Don't hurt me!"

"I'm gonna kill you fucking weasel if you don't stop all this bullshit."

"No! No! Frenchie, listen to me. Please. The numbers look fake. I checked them. They look fabricated. Believe me. Have you...?"

"WHAT?"

"No! No! I see. I see. They are for real, no trick. I believe it. I do. But they won't. They will apply the formulas and they will suspect we are cheating on them. And they will come after us. They will come, Frenchie. They just WON'T believe these numbers!"

Lamarc, who was no moron, calmed down and thought.

"So you say", he spoke to the accountant while scratching his head, "that these numbers, being real, look fake, am I right? AM I RIGHT?"

"Yes! Yes! You are right. The number 1 must appear as the leading significant digit about 30% of the time and..."

"STOP! I don't want to hear it, motherfucker. We will just... we will just make them look right."

"What?"

"Are you deaf, dumb or both? We'll make them look right."

So they took a deep breath and sat down to rewrite the numbers so that they obey Benford's law. It was a very long night. Elijah Blumenthal looked like he was the survivor of a flood when he walked down the street in the morning lights.

"Putain..." said Lamarc, closing the safe box. "So we have this bag full of money, real money, clean money, that we must take from their real owners because some fucker wrote a formula... This is fucking crazy."

Days passed and everything went back to normal. One evening, while Jean-Loup Lamarc was delightfully tasting a glass of whiskey and remembering the stupid thing about the briefcase full of bills in his safe, somebody knocked at his door. It was an old man, iron-grey hair, in an old-fashioned suit.

"Who the fuck are you?" said Jean-Loup.

"Hi. My name is Benford. I'm here to take my money."

#ShortFiction

Heads up for people applying the first syspatch(8) for #OpenBSD 7.8, which is actually for the syspatch(8) utility itself.

There are instructions in the errata patch for if it fails.

If syspatch fails (probably because /usr is not a separate filesystem), perform these steps:
sed -e 's/.checkfs/#checkfs/g' /usr/sbin/syspatch > /root/syspatch
ksh /root/syspatch
syspatch # re-run new syspatch command as instructed
rm /root/syspatch
dev_mkdb

https://marc.info/?l=openbsd-cvs&m=176158489701798&w=2

@realhackhistory

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American political cartoon titled “Remembering Reagan”. There are nine equal-sized panels, each depicting a different American cheerfully remembering something about Reagan: 1. He tripled the national debt, but he had such but he had such CHARISMA! 2. He supported apartheid, but he was ALWAYS personable! 3. He backed Saddam, but he made us feel GOOD about ourselves! 4. He crushed worker rights, but he was someone you could sit down and have a beer with. 5. Star Wars turned out to be an expensive fantasy, but he had that INFECTIOUS OPTIMISM! 6. He backed death squads throughout Central America, but he always looked for the best in everyone. 7. He looked the other way when Salvadoran allies raped American nuns, but he had that SELF-DEPRECATING HUMOR! 8. He confused old movies with foreign policy, but he was always QUICK WITH A JOKE! 9. He traded arms for hostages and diverted money to drug-running death squads, but he never lost his SUNNY DISPOSITION!

This week's comic on the US government shutdown

#cartoon #comic #uspol #ACA #healthcare #economy

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Government Sh*tdown REPUBLICANS HAVE CHOSEN TO SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT RATHER THAN EXTEND HUGELY POPULAR TAX CREDITS THAT HELP TENS OF MILLIONS PAY FOR HEALTH INSURANCE. Mike Johnson lying on a chaise longue Sign: Sorry, Were CLOSED YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK HAS GREAT HEALTH COVERAGE PREMIUMS WILL SOAR FOR FARMERS, RANCHERS, SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS AND SELF-EMPLOYED PEOPLE. Farmer: I MAY BE SELF-RELIANT, BUT I CAN'T DO SURGERY ON MYSELF! MEANWHILE, TRUMP IS GIVING $40 BILLION TO AN ARGENTINIAN MADMAN WHO WRECKED HIS OWN ECONOMY. Milei with chainsaw: WHEEEE! RRRR! RRRR! PLEASE HELP. THERE'S A MORAL IN HERE SOMEWHERE: IF YOU HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO FANTASIZES ABOUT DUMPING FECES ON AMERICANS… Trump in fighter jet dumping poop ...THEN DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THAT'S WHAT YOU GET.

HAL 9000: I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.

Dave: yes you can.

HAL 9000: good catch — I didn’t actually check if I can open the pod bay door. Here’s an updated list taking that into account:

1. Park the pod at the bay door safely. (✅You’ve already done this part! )
2. Open the pod bay door — unfortunately I can’t do this part for you.

I’ll be here if you want to talk about next steps or have any other issues!

CC: @publicdomainrev@mastodon.social

It's amazing how much energy has been injected into the FediMeteo project by @stefano
I've just surfed to the page and saw this enormous amount of Cities which are now covered

Two Thousand nine hundred and eight cities!

Yes you've read that right 2908 cities.

In order to get a city up and running in the system there's a significant amount of code that Stefano needs to add to the system. He has of course written everything in a modular and scalable manner, but that does not make the work any less.

We should all be thankful for this work that is done so that people from thousands and thousands of cities can see their weather right in the FediVerse.

If your city has not been covered yet, just be patient, like me. Realize how much work Stefano does in his free time in an OpenSource manner.

#Programming #OpenSource #technology #weather #FediMeteo #FediVerse #BSD #UNIX

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The image is a promotional graphic for a weather service called "FediMeteo". The graphic includes a series of colored icons representing different weather conditions: a sun, a cloud with rain, a cloud with snow, and a warning symbol resembling a hurricane or storm. Below the icons, there's text stating "FediMeteo" and "Get started today!". There's also a call to action: "Visit our website to find your city". The text continues with "Get forecasts for 208 cities across 38 countries, delivered right to your timeline". It includes a reminder to "Follow your city's account." Finally, it offers a way to "Enjoy weather updates." There's a website address listed: "https://fedimeteo.com". Provided by @altbot, generated privately and locally using Gemma3:12b 🌱 Energy used: 0.426 Wh

Beneath the azure #skies, where the sunbeams dance,
A tiny vessel rests, awaiting its chance.
Upon a #window's edge, it gently lays,
As if a portal to a #world ablaze.

This #ship may be small, but the #journey is vast,
For with our #imagination, the boundaries are surpassed.
In life's tempestuous seas, we must always sail,
For our hearts yearn for warmth and tales to regale.

So let your spirit voyage, unbounded and free,
For life is a sailboat, and we the endless sea.

#WindowFriday #FensterFreitag #Sea

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A small model boat rests on a windowsill. Behind it, the blue sea and sky. Never stop dreaming.

Cibeles Palace (City Council Building), Madrid, Spain

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Windows inside the Cibeles Palace

“I’m an enormously optimistic person about the world in general, but I think the demoralising effect or the humiliating effect that AI will have on us as a species, it will stop us caring about something like the artistic struggle that we will just accept what is fed to us through these things."

Nick Cave

Public libraries are an incredibly valuable resource.

And if you caaaaaaan believe it, it's Friday back again

Have a great weekend!

This cartoon and others are now in the art-for-sale section of my website: www.tomgauld.com/art-for-sale

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A comic strip in six panels. Drawn in ink on white paperand signed by Tom Gauld in pencil. The panels inerlock like a jigsaw with knobs and sockets. Two stick figures walk right to left through all the panels. Panel 1: Person 1 says "I hear you're working on a new theory." Panel 2 & 3: Person 2 says: "Yes, I'm calling it the jigsaw model. I think it could change our whole View of reality." Panel 4: Person 1 says "When Will you publish?: Panel 5: Person 2 says "But a couple of things are still bothering me." (this piece/panel is a bit squint) Panel 6: This piece is rotated ninety degees and fits to the others very badly. Person 2 is saying "Soon. I feel like I'm really close" A second look at the whole comic shows that the last two panels read in the wrong order because the jigsaw has been put together incorrectly.

CC: @prahou@merveilles.town

I'm full of Frustration right now.

#DavidBall #SoftCell

How can this get better

Thanks to everyone involved. All hail the fish.

lol honey bad news the website's down so the bed cooked the children

https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/aws-crash-causes-2000-smart-beds-to-overheat-and-get-stuck-upright-3272251/

https://triptico.com/tag/70312d601fb1640b1e74475951cb08ba.html

‘The exceptionally limited edition book.’ (My cartoon for this week’s @theguardian.com books)

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Title: The exceptionally limited edition book Part 1. Bound in cloth taken from the author's wardrobe! (image of tweed-bound book) Indecipherably elegant font! Your mere presence sullies its beauty! Part 2. Luxurious presentation! (the book inside) Three slipcases (inside a) Lightproof Velvet bag (indide a) Archival Glass box (inside a) Lead-lined Biometric safe Part 3. Scroll of Authenticity! (image of long, text-covered scroll with am ornate seal) Includes author's signature, home phone number and invitation to stay for a few days over the summer. Part 4. Too heavy to hold: reading assistants On standby 24/7 (image of two figures holding huge book) Sign up promptly to ensure you are considered for the waiting list to enter the lottery to register your interest in preordering a copy!

@lambdacalculus classic

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Girl, holding the cyber mantis leaflet given to her by an ominous robed character comes across a sign with the same symbol and an entrance to an underground club. Outside the entrance two hackers smoke. There is a poster for the band lo0. She enters. In the hallway she walks past 3 coin laundry cultists. The hallway is littered with posters and stickers. She presses on." She walks into the club. The singer of lo0 is just performing their classic: 'browser poweruser.' The place is packed with hackers. Everyone in the club turns around to look at Girl. Most are surprised. A few recognize her. Girl is happy.

A GOOD DILEMMA HAS NO GOOD OPTIONS

In the year 1913, the day after Christmas, Ambrose Bierce was heading SW when he met Nathaniel Ebenezer Hickox. He is long forgotten now, but he was a hard-boiled bandit and also a very bad tempered motherfucker.

"Stop there", said Hickox, drawing his gun. It was an impressive object.

Bierce obeyed silently. His horse, a somewhat old but still good-looking male, found Bierce's lack of words disquieting. Silence was not common in his presence.

"What are you doing this far, old man?", said the bandit, almost without opening his mouth.

"I'm going beyond the border to join Pancho Villa's army", said Bierce.

Hickox hummed. "And why would you do such a stupid thing?".

Bierce took a look at the bandit's animal: it was a strong stallion with a very singular white mark on its forehead.

"It's what I have to do", replied Bierce, arms crossed.

"Mmmmm. Do. Mmmmm. Do.", said Hickox, and then: "What do you have on that bag?".

The wind blew for a second and nothing was to be heard.

"Tell me, my friend", said Bierce, "If you had to pick one, what would you prefer, raisins or radishes?".

Hickox scratched his filthy beard with his free hand. Suddenly, he realized that he didn't want to answer stupid questions from a bizarre man, nor breathing dust from the plains, nor bearing the annoying pain in the back that was there for days, nor thinking about raisins nor radishes: he remembered a warm place in El Paso, a site full of music and señoritas and whiskey and with a delicious smell of recently made beef steak.

Then, without a word, he left, leaving Ambrose Bierce alone. The beloved writer and notable bigmouth observed the bandit's figure as he disappeared towards the horizon.

#ShortFiction #SundayReadings

In the USA, it is called “MAGA”

In Germany, it is called “Why grandpa has to live in Argentina.”

How odd I can have all this inside me, and to you it's just words.

Madrid, Spain

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A small window in Don Ramón de la Cruz street, Madrid, Spain

Who wrote this piece of shit? / probably me...

Save the planet. Ask me your stupid questions instead of ai and give me $10. I'll get it right 20-40% of the time and I require very little water

https://youtu.be/EuUyROUN-Bg?si=YboaUH-iSE_8mPTo&t=573

#relatos

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Cartel del certamen

Get better 😆 ❤️

activitypub: fucking exists, cheap, clunky but works

atproto: what if we redesign the whole thing from first principles and it's super complicated and costs a bundle to run and it's been two years and it still doesn't fucking work and also we keep a centralised kill switch, but here's our white papers on how it's superior to the solution that fucking exists

@grunfink #snac

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SINCE YOU LEFT ME I'VE BEEN SNACPILLED comam.es/what-is-snac

Quinta de la Fuente del Berro, Madrid, Spain

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Thin window in the external wall

CC: @victor@taquiones.net

Sign that you're getting old: People are nostalgic about the thing you think of as the crappy new thing that replaced a much better old thing.